Development of emotional intelligence is essential for success in all kinds of relationships. This blog series will outline the stages of emotional intelligence development. This post focuses on stage two, Emotional Regulation.
Stages to Emotional Intelligence Development
- Self-Awareness: Acknowledging and coming to terms with personal strengths, weaknesses, bias and attitudes
- Personal Emotional Regulation: Learning to self sooth and mindful of feelings
- Self-Motivation: Internal locus of control and desire to grow
- Relationship Management: Soft Skills
- Emotion Coaching: Coach your team to and others on these skills
Step 2: Emotion Management
Managing our emotions effectively involves controlling those unproductive behaviors.
What is Self-Soothing?
Self-soothing is the ability to emotionally self-regulate.
Therapist Nicki Explains our Three Brains
How do I Emotionally Regulate?
- Move your body
- Walk outside
- Ground Yourself with your 5 senses
- Swing on a swing set or rock in a chair
- Allow the feelings to flow through you with breathing
- Ask for a hug
- Scream alone in a room
- Tap or drum rhythmically
- Ask for Support
- Do 25 pushups
- Drink a cold drink or take a cold shower
- Vent to a safe person
- Process your feelings via journaling, meditation, etc.
- Acknowledge your thoughts and validate your experience
- Weighted Lap Pad
- Weighted Blanket
- Fidget Tools
- Chewy Necklace
- Silly Putty
- Stretch bands
Feeling Overwhelmed S.N.A.C.K.
S Stop whatever you are doing immediately
N Notice your five senses and ground yourself
A Accept the parts that you cannot control
C Curiosity, ask yourself questions about your experience in this moment
K Kindness, consider being kind to yourself and understand that it is ok to have this feeling and it will pass
Grounding Yourself Via Your Senses
- Sound Smell
- Taste Kinesthetic
- Color, look at art, focus on a single point in the room and focus on your breath
- Listen to music, sing, beat a drum
- Light a scented candle, sniff some essential oil, or bake something yummy
- Take a warm bath or shower, wear soft and/or comfortable clothes, pet a (willing) animal
- Sip herbal tea such as chamomile, suck on a lollipop or mint, chew gum
- Rock in a rocking chair, go for a gentle stroll, play with a fidget toy, do some stretches